Jaxon's Birth Story

I first learned about Hypnobabies when I was pregnant with my first son Kaiden and used it for his birth (you can read his story here). Seven months after he was born I attended the Hypnobabies instructor training and have been loving teaching it ever since. My good friend and fellow Hypnobabies instructor Crystal was pregnant with her first and we had guess dates a few days apart. We attended each others Hypnobabies classes and I really enoyed getting to be a student again. It was also fun teaching while attending as a student. My practice looked different this time around as I listened to most of my scripts at night in the bed with headphones (Kaiden was sleeping with us). It was a very relaxing way to end the day with a busy toddler.

I woke up at 2am the night before Jaxon was born to a trickle of water down my leg and the first thing that came to my mind was that I was leaking waters. I checked it out in the bathroom but had no clue, it was a small trickle so it was hard to tell so I went back to bed. I had a couple more trickles at 3am and was annoyed that I wasn’t falling back to sleep. I did a Fear Clearing session (I wanted to clear any fears I might have had about an early release of membranes) followed by my Deepening track and that did the trick. I fell asleep while listening to my Deepening and woke up sometime around 6am when Kaiden got me up. I had no birthing waves throughout the night and was still occasionally leaking water.

Throughout the morning I continued to have small leaks every once and a while and wasn’t having much in the way of birthing waves, less than a normal day. I gave my doula and birth attendant the heads up that I thought I may be leaking water and continued on with my day. Around 11am I talked to my birth attendant on the phone and described what was happening, right after I got off the phone with her I had a little bit larger of a leak and phoned her back to describe it. I was leaking clear fluid with white chunks, after a few guesses (I love that she still was still giving me learning opportunities) I successfully figured out that it was vernix! So it was official, I had a small tear in my bag of waters. At this point since I had no other signs of birthing time being near I figured that it was going to seal up and I’d birth another day. I was convinced that Jaxon was going to arrive around 42 weeks.

Kaiden and I spent a relaxing day together, I wasn’t up for getting out too much because of the leaking so we chilled at home and had a nice nap around noon. I had a handful of waves but still less than I would on a normal day. I also contacted Victoria who was coming on Friday to cut our hair and asked if there was any way she could come out today, I was determined my hair had to be cut before I gave birth. She agreed to come out after she was done for the day. At 5 we went for our chiropractic appointment, I wanted to make sure Kaiden had his adjustment but wasn’t sure if I wanted one. I had a lot of great work done on me the day before by my good friend and really didn’t feel like I wanted my pelvis touched so we decided just to do my neck and back. Then we left to pick Cody up from the train station.

We came home, relaxed and got Kaiden ready for bed. I started to have 1-2 waves an hour that were crampy in my back, so I texted my birth attendant just before 8 to let her know and ask if baby was posterior at our last appointment. She let me know that he was anterior. At 8:30 Victoria showed up (yes, she is that awesome) to cut my hair. It seemed like once I sat down to have my hair done I started active birthing, throughout the entire hair cut my waves were 4-5 minutes apart and 1 minute long. Victoria was awesome, she just kept going while I breathed through all the waves (using my peace and relax cues) which I was feeling in my back. I was definitely very grateful that she made it out and that my hair was off of my shoulders for the rest of my birthing time. :)

After Victoria left Cody started to make me dinner, pasta and homemade meat sauce, which was what I wanted as my pre-birth meal, while I timed a few waves on the ball. They were a lot more intense now and I was enjoying using my off switch on the ball while listening to my Easy First Stage track. They were still 4-5 minutes apart and 1 minute long so I let my doula know and decided I should let my birth attendant know too. I phoned her up at 10pm and after chatting she decided that she would pick up my doula and head out. After Kaiden’s birth I really had no idea if they should head out or not and I am glad that she decided to. I ate my dinner on the birth ball in between waves while Cody started to bring all my birth supplies upstairs to the living room.

The waves were getting more intense, I was feeling extreme pressure in my back and in the front of my pubic bone. I know now that the pressure I was feeling in my back was actually in my sacraliliac joints on both sides, the obviousness of where I was feeling it allowed me to describe it after and pinpoint it. Now I know that the issues I’ve had with my lower back and hips for the past 10 years are actually related to issues with my sacraliliac joints, interesting stuff. The thing that I really loved that was because Jaxon was OA the pressure went away between waves. This was a huge relief as in my birthing with Kaiden the combo of his OP positioning and my pelvis issues led to non-stop pressure in my back that almost never went away.

During my waves I had to focus really hard on relaxing into both of the points on my lower back and into my pubic bone too and would say birth prompts to myself to help. I decided to go have a shower as it felt really good during my pregnancy. I took the birthing ball into the shower and sat on it under the super hot water. It felt really great and being on the ball in the shower allowed me to lean forward and let my belly hang while the water hit my back. My waves started to space a bit and I decided to get out so I didn’t use too much hot water. I moved to the couch and listened to my Deepening track. Since the waves had spaced a little bit, to about 7 minutes apart, this allowed me to rest in between and the Deepening track took me really deep in between waves so that it was even more restful. During this time the waves grew even more intense and I had to get up and go on all fours on the floor during them, so I stayed off in between waves and in center during waves. Being on all fours and leaning on the bathroom counter were my two favorite positions. I really needed to swing my hips side to side and let my belly hang as it helped with the back pressure and made it a lot easier to relax into my back and belly at the same time. I remember thinking that I felt bad that my birth team was on their way since my waves had spaced, in my mind that meant that this birth might be long like Kaiden’s. Cody was resting on the floor in the living room with me at this point too.

My birth attendant and doula arrived at 12:35am (now the 13th of June) and I let them know my waves had spaced a bit and had gotten way more intense. I walked around, showed them where stuff was while drinking water and eating blueberries. The timeline notes that they left me state that I was “coping well with Hypnobabies playing”. My waves were starting to get closer together so I alternated between walking around, hanging out in the bathroom and the couch. I remember having some good conversations between the waves with everyone. Cody and my birth attendant started to set the pool up which was a funny affair. Cody grabbed our big compressor from the basement and it was so slow, after poking fun at him our birth attendant grabbed her small pump which worked way better. Then Cody was sent to bed to nap and after a quick listen to babe with the fetoscope my attendant went to lie down as well.

My waves were getting closer (I wasn’t timing them but could tell) and more intense. I was really calm and relaxed still and enjoying my birthing time. In my birthing time I really birth on my own even when my birthing team is there, I just feel like this is how I like to birth. During my waves I was in center, swaying my hips, letting my belly hang and saying my cues out loud to myself. This was working really well for me and helped me to stay as relaxed as possible during my waves and to focus my relaxation and anesthesia to where I needed it. At one point I asked my doula if she could put the Elle TENS unit I had bought on me. As things were getting more intense I was finding it challenging to relax into all 3 points and hoped that the TENS would help with relaxing into my back. I never intended to use it and was glad I had it. Funny enough the local Hypnobabies instructors in BC had just had a conversation two weeks prior about how a TENS machine can complement Hypnobabies quite well, ways to enhance its effectiveness with our hypnosis tools and how to use it to enhance our hypnosis. I think that this is likely the point where I was entering transformation.

My waves were getting closer together and more intense. I found that the TENS unit helped me be able to relax into my pubic bone more which was a great help. Focusing into the two joints and my pubic bone had gotten a lot harder as things progressed and I definitely noticed a big difference in the level of pressure and discomfort when I wasn’t able to relax as much. I was still slowly leaking waters and let my doula know that I was feeling a little nauseous. She was resting near me which I appreciated, I liked having her near to tell her things and ask for stuff but didn’t really feel like I needed any other support. During our postpartum visits she told me that she would wake up to me pushing my TENS button and think that she should be the one doing that but I loved doing it on my own. A few times she used the Relax Cue on me when I sounded a little panicky (in my head) and it really helped. I was pretty sure I was in transformation but my waves would sometimes be back to back and then sometimes a minute or so apart. I mentioned this to my doula and she said that it was common when there was a release of membranes to have more sporadic spacing of waves which made me feel much more confident about my progress. I figure that when I couldn’t stand wearing underwear anymore and decided I didn’t care if I leaked amniotic fluid everywhere was probably a good sign I was in transformation. I also got sick of the Deepening track and asked her to switch back to Easy First Stage.

At this point I was tired of drinking water with lemon and since I never got around to prepping my birthing aid drink my doula offered to do it for me while I disappeared to the bathroom for quite a while. I was getting a lot louder when I said my birth prompts out loud which was helping me relax into the intensity of the waves especially since the pressure was pretty crazy at that point. I love that I was still calm and happy at this point, just super focused. I went to the kitchen and told my doula that I was having to deal with the feelings that were popping up about trusting the progress of my birthing time. She reminded me to let Kaiden’s birth go and that this was a different birth. She asked how I was feeling and I told her that I was done and ready to have this baby, then she asked how the getting in the pool sounded and I told her it sounded ****ing fantastic. At this point my doula figured I had started transformation in the bathroom and was heading on my way to being pushy in the next 20-30 minutes. Little did she know that I’d be holding Jaxon in less than 30 minutes.

I waited a couple of waves and had her take off the TENS unit then I climbed in the pool. The hot water felt great, and it was hot! I asked my doula to phone our birth photographer and tell her to head out. The first wave I had in the pool ended with me being slightly pushy. My doula came out from the kitchen and asked me if that one felt different… my reply was that it sounded pushy at the end didn’t it (which cracked her up, only a birth educator/doula would say something like that) and that I wanted to be pushy. She asked if I was feeling pushy or if I wanted to be pushy and I told her I didn’t know and figured we should see what happens. My next wave happened while she was on the phone with the birth photographer and I was definitely pushy, it ended with me saying that I didn’t think that Vairdy was going to make it (she didn’t make it so we had a fantastic newborn session instead). I asked my doula to put on the Pushing Baby Out track. Then I had a break in between waves, it was probably at most 5 minutes, and it was absolutely amazing!

The pushy waves woke up my birth attendant who came out to see how things were going and I asked my doula to wake Cody. He was surprised that it was happening so quickly. Pushing was crazy, fast and intense. Once my waves got pushy I had to push through my waves, the urge was so strong and I couldn’t resist it. My birth attendant reminded me to be gentle and allow my body to do the work for her and I informed her that I couldn’t, that I had to push and push hard (I love mother directed pushing). I remember being unimpressed that I still had the pressure in my back during the pushing waves and let everyone know. I was still calm during pushing and feel that I was expressing how I felt in little mini tantrums throughout my waves. During my waves I was remembering to Ahhh so that I helped baby move down and stay open. I got annoyed at one point as I felt my bottom tighten at the top of the wave due to my back and told everyone I wasn’t staying open. My birth attendant told me I was open and I told her I wasn’t. During the waves I was super intense, loud and focused and in between the waves I was all calm, carrying out random conversations with everyone. As Jaxon was getting close to crowning I started to say a few I cant’s and loved that my team always told me that I could and that it was safe (although I told them they were wrong and that I couldn’t, yep, slightly tantrumy). I kept telling Jaxon that I loved him and needed him out now and told Cody I was annoyed that he kept going back in as he crowned (yes, I know this is how it works, but it still annoyed me at the time).

Then Jaxon’s head was partially out and I refused to let it go back in so I kept pressure down there in between the wave and knew that he was going to be out the next wave no matter what. My birth attendant reminded me to breathe through the wave so I could push him out between waves and I said that I had to push and he needed to come out. I pushed super hard and remember thinking that I was going to birth his head no matter what and that I didn’t care if I tore (I didn’t, my perineum was intact). And his head was born that wave, I was so happy and relieved. I really felt his shoulders rotating inside me which was awesome although at the time I thought that what I felt was someone touching him. So twice I told everyone not to touch my baby (Cody loves to make fun of that now) and they assured me that no one was, and they never did as I later saw on the video. Then my birth attendant gently reminded me to push baby out. I remember thinking what do you mean push baby out, his head is out and so I’m done, he should just slip out now. Well, that wasn’t the case, I had to push quite hard to get his shoulders out and I felt the moment they came out. Now I figured I was done, well nope, I had to be gently reminded to push the rest of his body out. I was literally sitting there waiting for him just to slip out on his own. Again, in my head I was like seriously, he’s out, I’m done but I actually had to push quite hard to get his body out too. I’ll never forget that. Then Cody caught him and passed him under the water to me. Jaxon was born 20 minutes after I got into the pool after 15 minutes of intense pushing at 3:10 am.

It was the most amazing feeling reaching down, catching our baby and bringing him to my chest. No one other than Cody and I touched our baby, that was very special to me. He snuggled on my chest and Cody told me how proud he was of me and I told Jaxon how proud I was of him. I also apologized to Jaxon for some of the things I said during pushing to him. After a few minutes Cody and I looked and saw that he was a boy and the first thing I said was what are we going to name him as we didn’t really like our boy name, he was unnamed for almost 3 weeks.

Jaxon and I cuddled in the pool with Cody at our side. I birthed my placenta 40 minutes later on my own in the pool when I was ready and then moved to the couch. Jaxon latched on at 4:05am for a tiny meal and Cody made me some more pasta with meat sauce to eat (which tasted fantastic). We sent my doula to get some rest and our birth attendant took down the pool and started to tidy up.

Two hours after Jaxon was born we felt ready to clamp and cut the cord, so we did and Cody cut his cord. It was neat, our birth attendant clamped it with an elastic a few inches away from him and that made it so much easier to deal with during diaper changes. I also feel like that must be more comfortable for him too. Then Cody and my birth attendant helped me move to the bed and we took Jaxon’s measurements. This was the first time anyone other than Cody and I had touched Jaxon which was amazing. He was 7lb 4oz, 18 ½” long and his head was 13 ½”. Cody then went to sleep in the bed with Kaiden while I got all comfy and cozy with Jaxon, we slept all snuggled together skin to skin. We woke up a few hours later to a clean house, which was a true gift and the sign of an amazing birth team.

From start to finish my birthing time was 6.5 hours which is exactly 10% of my birthing time of 65 hours with Kaiden. I worked hard before and during my pregnancy to deal with my feelings about Kaiden’s birth and release them, my Fear Clearing helped a lot with this. It was really great to have a completely different birth experience with Jaxon (I loved the affirmation that this was a new pregnancy, baby and birth). There were no interventions the entire time, my birthing team allowed me to birth in the way that felt right to me and respected and trusted my birthing process, baby and body completely. They supported me in the ways I needed which was mostly during pushing in reminding me that I can push my baby out and that everything was normal and safe. Jaxon was born peacefully into our loving arms and treated with nothing but love, tenderness and respect. Throughout my birthing time I chose to use my Hypnobabies tools in the ways that worked for me. One of the things I love most about Hypnobabies is how calm and happy my birthing times are. I feel that this allows me to be more present at my birth and really enjoy my experience without any overwhelm.

I love everything about my birthing time and feel empowered as a women to have had a completely hands off, intervention free birth.

I am also excited to be sharing Jaxon's birth video! You can also view it on my YouTube channel. His birth video is family friendly however the video does show my breasts a tiny bit!